Thursday, Aug. 18, 2005 - 12:23 p.m.
Caution! Insane Rambling ahead!
Well, fuck! So many things are pissing me off right now, I don't know where to start.
How 'bout with the fact that I seem to be fatally attracted to corporate types who are so paranoid of any sort of notoriety they insist I censor my writing...to the point I'm not allowed to write about them at all except obliquely? Yeah, let's start there. Where do these folks come from? And how did I manage for 35 years to date only creatures of my own ilk...poets, artists, musicians, etc.? And why has this changed? I don't go looking for them...they just sorta drop in my lap. Maybe if I stop drinking, my tastes will revert. But oh! They're so damned irresistable...
And fate...that's another pisser on my list. So I decided to move out of town. Fine. Then I met Thomas who made moving out of town seem infinitely desirable. Take that how you will. Then I started wanting to stay, if only because the logistics are easier. Then Austin became a real long-shot, then I met He Who Must Not Be Named. So now it will appear I am staying in town for him. Which I'm not. Though he must be counted as an incentive. Though nothing could possibly come of our association, due to the disparity of our worlds.
Why am I not allowed to crawl into a cocoon for a year or so to get my head straight? Why must I be tempted beyond my ability to resist by extraordinarily erudite men who also happen to be incredibly hot? Where were they when I was lonely and shunned by all? Hmmmm? Timing is a bitch.
In conclusion:
I am staying in New Orleans for another six months for reasons that have nothing to do with hypnotic green eyes. I am firmly resolved to remain single and concentrate on my writing and self-growth. I am going to quit drinking. And I believe none of these things. Damn...I lack even the semblence of a will. Shoot me, please. Bullets are cheap.
