Sunday, Jul. 24, 2005 - 8:54 p.m.
Once again, Thomas came through for me. Yes, we are in the Land of Let's Just Be Friends, but he has provided me with a computer, and booze, and is helping me get a new apartment. Huzzah for Thomas!
He has still managed to convince himself that somehow he is doing not only the right thing, but the only thing, so I will cease to pester him with contrary information. I bleed for him...this is infinitely worse for him than for me, since deep down he knows we will both regret this for as long as we draw breath. I see no resolution, tho I persist in trying. Seeing each other on a daily basis to try to resolve my material problems is doing neither of us any good...the illusion of true contact and connection is comforting, but he is still leaving. Leaving me. Forever. Stark and horrible truths.
I will try to post on a regular basis to keep in touch, but my motivation has vanished and I lack the will for anything of substance. Think happy thoughts for us both, he is following his heart, or so he feels, so is not to blame for any of this. As always, he has all of my love and respect and compassion, and always will. No matter what. I gave him my heart, and he carries it with him, to Houston or wherever his life will take him.
