Tuesday, Jul. 12, 2005 - 12:33 p.m.
Sorry for the dearth of entries of late, but the stress has been getting to me.
It appears that the decision will be made this afternoon as to where Thomas will end up next.
We're hoping he gets an extension to stay here for a while...Houston is still a remote possibility, as is *shudder* Nigeria.
Thomas's professional and geographic future is at stake, and the dithering of his bosses these past few weeks has been nervewracking for the both of us.
My future is now rather firmly tied to his, so it's been just as bad for me. I've been feeling helpless of late...due both to Thomas's anxiety and my own. Our relationship is of such recent origin, that it seems as if it would be premature for me to pull up my roots and go gallivanting off to Africa with him...both for my sake and for his.
Men are notoriously hesitant when it comes to the whole commitment thing, and he has frankly expressed his reservations regarding our future together. Yes,he loves me and I him, but on such short acquaintence it is a bit much to ask that he jump blindly into our future in such a fundamental way.
I hope for the best of course, but I fear the worst. I am deeply afraid he'll be sent off somewhere abominably far away, and I will be left to wait and hope that he will come back for me in a couple of years.
So...if any of y'all have any deities who owe you favours, please pull some strings for us. We deserve the chance to develop this relationship into something beautiful and lasting.
Think happy thoughts for us...mine are at low ebb right now.
