Tuesday, Jun. 28, 2005 - 12:16 p.m.
My oh my, it got very drunk out last night...I'm letting my hangover do the typing today, I can't be bothered.
Anyone in the mood for a bit of philosophical rambling?
Since all y'all have such short memories, I'll remind you that a couple of months ago I posted several times on the potential advisability of me moving out of New Orleans for a year or so to dry out a bit and get my head together. It's now definate that Thomas will not be staying in N'awlins. Whether he ends up in Houston or elsewhere is still up in the air.
I'm thinking this might be a good opportunity for me to put all my belongings in storage and move back to San Francisco for six months or a year. I know it would make my grandfather happy to have me close by, and if Thomas and I will be seperated, it doesn't matter too much where I am located...We'll manage to keep things going somehow.
I feel New Orleans is home for me, and always will be, but that living here is not necessarily healthy for me. Too much temptation, too insular, too easy to fall into a rut and/or a prolonged alcoholic stupor. A change of scenery might help do the trick of putting things in perspective.
As I wrote those many moons ago, these thoughts have been with me for a while now, but they're taking on a new urgency. I feel myself changing and growing, but I fear the hothouse atmosphere of this oh-so-incestuous-city is not really conducive to my metamorphosis. That old Wanderlust is nipping at my heels again...this is the longest I've ever remained in one place, and I'm beginning to feel there's no real room here for me to spread my wings.
I miss the ocean most of all. I feel landlocked and anchored when I most need to see new horizons, new faces, new adventures.
I really don't like California anymore, and San Francisco presents few new facets for me, but that is the option that is open to me...my safety net with unlimited resources.
I need a time to rest and regroup, to write and think and walk different streets. I need to renew myself and relearn myself. A different coast, different weather, different views, might be just what I need to finish growing my wings. I know I am meant for flight, but I have been busily growing roots instead.
Change.
One of the most beautiful words in any language...
